Finding Contentment in my Season of Singleness

This is something I often struggle with. Don’t you? I find myself thinking, “I will finally be happy when I am married with children.” But that isn’t true and it never will be. If I continue to think like that, I will never be happy. I will never be joyful. I can’t rely on circumstances to make me happy, because it won’t work. I CAN however, find contentment and joy in my Savior Jesus Christ. In fact that is the ONLY way to find TRUE Joy.

This summer, my church has been going through the book of Philippians. The sermon series is called “Discovering Joy”.  I have thoroughly enjoyed this series because, first of all, it has shown me how I have put so much emphasis on finding contentment in circumstances. I don’t think I fully realized that until we started this series.  Second of all it has shown me how to experience joy and peace by living in Christ Jesus.  I still need some work on it though, but I know it will take some time.

In church this morning my pastor said, “The lack of peace comes from inside of me.” If I worry about a situation, especially one I can’t control (i.e. a crush, lack of a spouse, lack of funds for maintenance on my house); all it does, is cause strife in my everyday life. It gives me anxiety, and stress that I wouldn’t have if I just trusted more in the Lord to let Him take care of it. My codependent nature makes me want to take control of it, so that I can fix it. But what if it’s not supposed to be fixed? What if the reason I am going through some sort of trial is that God is trying to teach me how to rely on Him more? What if the reason I haven’t “found my Boaz” is because Jesus knows that I will start to rely on a human to bring me peace and joy and not Him? I know for a fact, that was how I thought before I started my recovery journey with  Celebrate Recovery (click on me to find out more) ,  I thought that the only way I would be happy is if the guy I was dating was happy in his life. Not only searching for joy in my circumstances, I was searching for joy in someone else’s circumstances.

So now what? How do I find contentment in my season of singleness? How do I release that desire to “find my Boaz” on my own to Jesus, and rely on Him to provide for me, to rely on Him for my happiness? Philippians 4:6-7 says, “Don’t worry about anything; instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”

It says to pray, pray about EVERYTHING. Then it says to tell God what we need and to thank him for all he has done.  I can find contentment in my current season by conversing with God.  Notice I didn’t say “talking TO God”, instead I said “conversing WITH God”. I can tell him what I need and thank him for all that he has done, but I should also listen for what He has to say.  In quoting my pastor again, he said, “Prayer should always include an element of worship. Thank God for all he has done. When we thank God, it increases appreciation and trust in Him.”  Then he said, “STOP and become aware of the presence of God.”  He encouraged us to “practice the presence of Christ”.  In other words, get silent. Find at least five minutes of quiet in each day. Turn off everything; the TV, phone, music, anything that can distract us from experiencing His presence and hearing His voice.

 It also says, “Then you will experience GOD’S PEACE”, not my peace.  I won’t even attempt to explain that further, because I can’t.  I don’t fully understand exactly what God’s peace is… Paul told us we wouldn’t be able to, “which exceeds ANYTHING we can understand.” But isn’t that where the hope is? When I think of God’s Peace and what that must be, I feel lifted. The burden that weighs me down, the constant worry of “will God bring me a husband”, disappears from my thoughts. I guess that’s what Paul means when he says, “His peace will guard out hearts and minds”.  When I am focusing on Jesus, “living in Christ Jesus” His peace guards my heart and my mind. I just think that’s awesome! I have experience that before. One day I was driving and this gloom of worry came over me, I literally shook my head and prayed and a peace came over me immediately. It was an amazing feeling. I called it a Jesus hug.

So to sum up, to find contentment in my season of singleness I must turn my focus from the fact that I am single and alone, to the fact that I am not single and alone as long as I am in Christ Jesus.  Thanks for letting me share.